Re: Dear Monday Evening

My blog-friend Amy Beth posted this evening a series of letters to friends, acquaintances, and puppies alike. She might have suggested in one (or three) that Northerners are rude, demonstrated by an unfortunate incident in my beloved Great Lakes State. And, as I am Michigan-born and Michigan-raised, and currently typing this from a little house in that particular state, I felt it my duty to defend its honor:


Dear Amy Beth,

I'm very sorry that the woman in a diner in my home state did not return your toast-prompted "thank you" with a sincere and smiling "you're welcome." You are right, even us Northern girls are taught better than that.

I would like to note that while you Southern belles think we might be rude in some of our actions, we are simply acting in a matter appropriate and polite to the Northern culture. For example: no little Michigan boy is going to call you ma'am. Speaking from experience, some of us are taught that it is downright rude to use that particular  conjunction in deference to ladies, whether older or younger.

You might see it as devaluing a lady, but au contrare. Up here, we know that our women are strong and confident. We value them not only wives and mothers, but as leaders and individuals who contribute to all levels of society. My tiny little alma mater was a front-runner in offering higher education for women; no person of any gender, race or ethnicity was barred from enrollment, even in 1859 when the school was founded. Young, old, male, female, black, white, or blue, most of us Northerners believe that everyone is deserving of equal respect.

For us, this equality sometimes means overlooking those traditional terms of respect. Why should a plumber defer to a lawyer with words like "sir?" They're both human beings, after all. One is no better than the other. And a man may not think about opening a car door for a woman -- not because he does not love or honor her, but because he knows that she's capable of opening a door, and not so dainty as to worry about soiling herself on the handle. Truth be told, there's quite a number of women who actually prefer to do these things themselves.

I have to admit, there are those of us who enjoy the whimsy and romance of having a car door opened for us. And there are those gentleman who are happy to fulfill our whims. And there are those of us who recognize the Southerner inside, and have relocated to the South or the near-South. Though I'm still not sure the Texans have figured out what to do with my loud, brash, non-deferring ways. I guess you can take the girl out of Michigan, but you just can't take Michigan out of the girl.

I hope that I have helped you to understand the unique culture of the North. And thank you for helping me to see the conceived notions some may have of us.

Give my love to Snuggles y Cuddles.

Loudly, shamelessly, and respectfully,

Carolyn Jo

P.S. My apologies for the length of this reply. One more thing us Northerners often aren't is concise. Or maybe that's just me.