Tonight.

Tonight I don't want to be single. Tonight I don't want to be alone.

Rather than sitting in my PJs pretending to clean my room while I actually browse the web, I want to get dolled up. I want to get some use out of my froufy dresses and my fancy heels. I want to take two hours to get ready because I'm getting my makeup just right. Then I want someone to come to my door and hesitate for a moment before he says hello because he's caught off-guard and has to catch his breath, telling me without a word that I am beautiful. I want to be guided through the doorway with his hand on the small of my back, a gesture of both protection and affection. And I want to end the night with a long embrace that lingers with our fingers touching until the very last moment our arms can span the widening gulf between us as I turn to walk through my door.




Instead, tonight I'll go to bed without thoughts or newly-created memories of any special someone. And I'll wake tomorrow not to a good morning text because he just couldn't wait to say hi, but to a six-month-old terrier licking my nose because she really has to pee and needs me to get up right away.

It might not be what I want, but it's what I have right now.

At least the terrier is pretty adorable.