Carry Me Through

Dear life,

I'll admit it.

Last night you got me down.

The house was empty.

I was lonely.

I was facing these life changes.

By myself.

Well, puppy was there.

But she's not much good as a shoulder to cry on.

She's too wiggly.

But I digress.

I was sad to realize - suddenly - that my work with TEDRD is over.

For reals over.

Sure, I have a few things to finish up.

I blame that on all the wonderful mid-day meals I was treated to in my last couple of weeks.

Really, phenomenal.

There are some amazing restaurants out there beyond my budget.

I'm getting off-track again.

Not having something super exciting and brand new was hard too.

I'm an all-or-nothing kind of girl.

When I start over, I like to start over completely.

None of this, you're done with this but you're going to start something new right where you are stuff.

It's awkward.

It's goodbyes without the real goodbyes.

But that's where I am.

And that's hard for me.

Not to mention it isn't exactly what I was going for.

But I'm learning to be grateful.

This is where God has me.

I have one full-time job for the next two weeks.

Plus a part-time job on top of it.

And another part-time possibility after it's over.

I need to take that application in.

Soon.

Maybe tonight.

Anyway.

God is providing what I need right now.

I don't know where I'll be living yet.

But people are working on it.

Good people.

God will provide.

Today I got up early.

It was still dark.

I went for a run.

The sun came up while I ran.

I'm kind of gross.

And behind schedule now because I'm telling you about it.

But it was the perfect start to a new day.

A new chapter.

Maybe just a new paragraph.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring.

But I'm learning what faith really is.

Not cuddly, let's-sing-songs faith.

Though I like that kind sometimes.

I mean real, true, I have no idea what You're doing but I'll trust You faith.

As an almost-80 lady said yesterday:

You can't live in yesterday.

You can't live in tomorrow.

You have just this moment to live in.

So do it.

And this moment involves me showering.

Much love from Tejas,

CaroJo

Blog Title Inspiration: Carry Me Through by Dave Barnes

(love that song)

(it's playing right now)

(okay, to the shower)