I'm starting to wrap up projects at work, knowing that the next several weeks will be more about handing off my responsibilities than starting anything new.
At home, I'm applying for jobs.
A few weeks ago, I had a phone interview. Unfortunately, they were looking for someone to start sooner than I am available and so for that and/or other reasons, I was not selected to proceed in the interviewing process.
Tonight, I received another notice that I had not been selected for an interview.
I hate hate HATE job searching. I hate the fact that I have to represent myself with just a piece of paper, and no more. I hate waiting by the phone for someone to call, wondering if this one is going to come through or if I'll get another note in the mail addressed to "Applicant," thanking me for my interest and complimenting my "impressive" qualifications.
I want to move to Austin in September. I want to work for a non-profit, using the things I've learned over the last year and a half. I want a chance to prove myself, to learn, and to serve the world. I want to plan fantastic events and write charming, compelling letters to potential donors.
Two years ago this August, I traveled to Connecticut on my own dime for the only interview I'd been offered amongst some 150 applications. I wasn't offered the job and, in fact, the organization never even called/emailed/wrote to tell me that I hadn't been chosen. I followed up, as appropriate. They didn't.
It was the first time (outside of my love life, but that's a whole other story) that I'd felt the sting of rejection so deeply. NEVER had I struck out over and over and over again. I'm Carolyn, after all. Top of my class. President of every club I'd ever been in. Hello. Don't you know me? Don't you know that if you hire me, YOU win?
(Apparently, they didn't know that.)
I'm scared. I'm scared that in August I'll have nowhere to go. I'm scared that I'll end up back at my parents' house (don't get me wrong, I love my parents....but I'm not 17 anymore. I'd prefer not to live with them), working at the local Starbucks and just waiting for my break, while my relevant experience falls further and further into my past.
There are a couple of postings I was going to apply for tonight, but I think I need to step back and chill a bit. Nothing kills the job huntin' mood like a big fat NO in your inbox.
Unrelated side note:
Kyle, here's some proof your kitties are doing well while you're away:
Apparently my tote bag makes a cozy bed. And she bit me earlier. What a darling.
He wouldn't sit still for a good picture. This was shot #01837490650261 (roughly). And I have to know: did you name him Angus because he's black and white like a cow?
Because the resemblance is uncanny.
Disclaimer: I looked up "Angus Cattle" and found out that they're actually the all-black or all-"red" (brown) cows. Doesn't matter. My
Cow Picture Source
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