I am officially...

...Texan. Even my car is Texan. And let me tell you, getting to that point was an adventure:

1) County Tax Office. Ouch - $170.00? Okay, fine. You made it all easy on me otherwise. Not like last week's drama, when I ran around Lake Jackson like a chicken bleeding from my headless neck chasing wild geese.

2) Driver's license office. I need my birth certificate? Really? That's the only personal document I didn't bring. I promise I was born, does that work? Okay, fine. I'll go home and get it. Thank the Lord I found it before I moved.

3) Peanut butter sandwich. If I had to come home, I might as well eat lunch.

4) Driver's license office, round 2. Oops, I left my insurance information, which I couldn't have gotten my registration (that you're holding) without, in the car. Sure, let me run out and get it. Please do answer that phone. And that question. And, okay, come back when you're ready. No problem, I have tons of time.

5) AutoZone in Angleton. Until about 2 hours ago, I was a Michigander. We don't do front license plates. Furthermore, a cavalier isn't really made for a front license plate. Yes, I agree that I'll probably have to drill through the bumper. No, I don't have the tools either. Okay, let me buy the mounting kit. I'll go to a dealership and see what they can do.

6) Chevrolet dealership in Lake Jackson. Hey, could you help me put these plates on my car. Yes, I'm from Michigan. Oh, you're from Bay City? That's special. Sure you can ride to the service area in my car, just let me clear...nevermind. No, I'm not married. No, I don't have kids. Oh, hte junk in my car? That's all mine. I'm the only kid here. You'll change the plates for free? Fantastic. I like free. Um, acutally I WOULD mind you taking me out very much (aren't you like, old? I mean, you could totally be my dad), but I'd still appreciate you putting the license plates on. Thanks. Your business card. Sure, I'll pass it along (into the trash can).

7) Texting while driving. Me: I just got asked out by a guy who's probably my dad's age. / Lauren: Haha. Was he cute? Did he get your digits? / Me: No. Ew. / Lauren: Come on, give grandpa a chance. / Me: Well, if you feel that way, I'll go back and give him your number. / Lauren: jk. Don't you dare. / Me: Fine. I'll give him Amy's number instead.

8) Texas gulf bank. I'd like to open an account. Do you have free checking? Um, if I'm paying a dollar a month is it really free? Yeah, here's my license. Well, I had a photo ID until about two hours ago. They took it away and gave me that. Sure, let me go get my passport out of the car. Oh, excuse me Mr. Husband-of-the-Banker, you're in my seat.


Now I'm home. And yes, that is a generally accurate, even if not verbatim account of my day.