Sad eyes for sick puppies.

Bennet is sick.

She seems to be in good spirits, but she asks to go outside about once every three minutes. She smells terrible, and she's drooling a lot. Apparently the latter is a sign of nausea. I think she'll be fine, but that doesn't stop me from watching her like a hawk or, more accurately, a concerned mama.

I wish sometimes she could talk, so she could tell me what's going on. I'm not sure if she got into something, or if she just got the same bug that made Murphy sick a couple of weeks ago. I keep asking, but she just won't tell me anything.

Anyway, I'm staying home today. Church started 7 minutes ago, and I had every intention of going. But then Puppy Face woke me up at 2am and again at 6am needing to go outside, though she never asks to go out in the middle of the night. Now I'm just hesitant to leave her here alone. She's actually under the couch right now. Sleeping, maybe. Her paws are twitching.

I'm sewing on buttons and blogging and thinking about cleaning. This week is going to be insane times seven. Besides working every day except Wednesday when I have to go to Austin, I also will be packing and preparing to move God-knows-where.

I might rent a storage locker to stash my stuff in starting next weekend. That way, if I need to, I can couch surf for a couple of weeks until I figure out what I'm doing. A couple of friends have wonderfully offered their guest rooms, so I know I have places to go; it would just be easier without a lot of stuff.

Some of it depends on Austin, too. If Wednesday goes well, I want to put myself in a highly flexible situation from which I can leave any time. If it doesn't, then I'd rather settle into something a little more permanent (read: mine). I don't want to take advantage of friends' good graces for too long.

Okay...I need to get up and do something now. Luke's coming home sometime this morning. It'll be nice to not be alone in this big old house any more, but I do need to clean it up a bit.

I hope you all are having a wonderful Sunday. :)

Mark this down.

3pm.

Next Wednesday.

September 1, 2010.

Austin.

Interview.

(Eeeek!)

(Pray for me.)

(Really really pray.)

(Like for realsies, people.)

(Okay, thanks.)

(Much Love)

(From Texas)

(C-Jo)

Not counting chickens.

Seven A.M.

Thursday.

I survived the three hardest days of my crazy week.

10 hours of working.

Two jobs.

Have I told you what they are?

1. Filling in for Kyle's now-gone office manager at Willie T's.

2. Full time, temp. cashier at the local Community College bookstore.

It's 10 hours standing.

My feet have been so sore.

My legs too.

The first two days I wore terrible shoes.

I didn't have anything else.

I don't typically wear closed-toe shoes.

Especially not closed-toe flats that have to look good with a skirt.

Mine were cute, but useless for that long.

So I bought new shoes the other night.

And gel cushions.

It helped.

Sure, it cost me a good chunk of my yet-unearned cash.

But it prevented me from quitting due to pain and agony.

It's worth it.

Today I'm only working 6 hours.

4 tomorrow.

5 on Saturday.

Back to crazy days on Monday and Tuesday.

And then I might have to take next Wednesday off.

I got it approved.

I just have to secure my plans now.

I'll be in Austin.

For an interview.

Did you catch that?

For an INTERVIEW.

For a real job.

A professional job.

I'm not going to tell y'all who it's with yet.

Not until I know a little more.

I'm trying not to count my chickens.

I want to.

I want this to be the one.

The one that renders all the rest of my inquiries irrelevant.

But maybe it won't be.

We'll see.

I'll keep you posted.

Much love from Tejas,

CtotheJo

Carry Me Through

Dear life,

I'll admit it.

Last night you got me down.

The house was empty.

I was lonely.

I was facing these life changes.

By myself.

Well, puppy was there.

But she's not much good as a shoulder to cry on.

She's too wiggly.

But I digress.

I was sad to realize - suddenly - that my work with TEDRD is over.

For reals over.

Sure, I have a few things to finish up.

I blame that on all the wonderful mid-day meals I was treated to in my last couple of weeks.

Really, phenomenal.

There are some amazing restaurants out there beyond my budget.

I'm getting off-track again.

Not having something super exciting and brand new was hard too.

I'm an all-or-nothing kind of girl.

When I start over, I like to start over completely.

None of this, you're done with this but you're going to start something new right where you are stuff.

It's awkward.

It's goodbyes without the real goodbyes.

But that's where I am.

And that's hard for me.

Not to mention it isn't exactly what I was going for.

But I'm learning to be grateful.

This is where God has me.

I have one full-time job for the next two weeks.

Plus a part-time job on top of it.

And another part-time possibility after it's over.

I need to take that application in.

Soon.

Maybe tonight.

Anyway.

God is providing what I need right now.

I don't know where I'll be living yet.

But people are working on it.

Good people.

God will provide.

Today I got up early.

It was still dark.

I went for a run.

The sun came up while I ran.

I'm kind of gross.

And behind schedule now because I'm telling you about it.

But it was the perfect start to a new day.

A new chapter.

Maybe just a new paragraph.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring.

But I'm learning what faith really is.

Not cuddly, let's-sing-songs faith.

Though I like that kind sometimes.

I mean real, true, I have no idea what You're doing but I'll trust You faith.

As an almost-80 lady said yesterday:

You can't live in yesterday.

You can't live in tomorrow.

You have just this moment to live in.

So do it.

And this moment involves me showering.

Much love from Tejas,

CaroJo

Blog Title Inspiration: Carry Me Through by Dave Barnes

(love that song)

(it's playing right now)

(okay, to the shower)

Sometimes things happen. And they're good.

Last night I went to a concert.

I didn't know I was going until Tuesday afternoon. 

Neither did Tamara, and she bought the tickets. But I got a text while Bennet and I were on the beach. And so I went.

When we first arrived, it was pouring rain. We were not dressed for this. We were both wearing white. Thank God we had multiple layers on to protect our modesty.

A little rain in Texas is hardly a cause for panic. It's pretty warm down here, so even damp, we were comfortable.

We had lawn "seats" but we snagged a spot just under the canopy where we could see the stage and where we could stand up.

We don't mind being wet, but sitting on wet grass is a whole other story, y'all.

There was an opening band. We didn't know them, but they were enjoyable. They sang a song about living in a plastic bubble. It was catchy.

Apparently there were two opening bands, but we were late (my fault), so we missed one. Oh well.

 After all, we were really only there for one reason:

Can you see him? He's right down there in the middle. And on the screen.

The guy with the guitar.

(It's Jack Johnson.)

I didn't realize how much of his music I know until the concert.

I also didn't realize how much I love him, until I realized how much of his music I know at the concert.

It was a great night with a good friend, and I got home late, but happy.

Now I'm back at work, for my last two(ish) days.

I say two(ish) because I have some things to finish up before I'm really done.

So we're keeping the date flexible.

I'm already technically a volunteer, so it doesn't change much if I just tie up loose ends post-"completion."

Also, I have a job.

Not a job-job.

But a two-week, make-some-money, minimum-wage temp. job at the local community college bookstore.

It's not much, but it's something.

And for two weeks of minimum wage work, I'll make roughly a month's worth of income with AmeriCorps. So that's saying something.

And I'm keeping options open for the Perfect-Job-For-Me-Which-Will-Contribute-to-a-Long-Career-and-Lifetime-of-Success to arrive.

It's out there.

Somewhere.

Over the rainbow.

Where skies are blue.

Okay, I'm done.

Much Love (and Banana Pancakes) from Texas.

I just want something beautiful to touch me.

Do y'all know the band Needtobreathe? You ought to. Southern gospel rock. I bought their album "The Outsiders" a few weeks back, plus the single "Washed by the Water," which is currently the ringer on my cell phone. Their lyrics are incredibly hopeful and uplifting. I'm listening to it tonight, and it is good.

Lay 'Em Down

Come down to the river
Come and let yourself in
Make good on a promise
To never hurt again
If you're lost and lonely
You're broken down
Bring all of your troubles
Come lay 'em down

All you sinners
And the weak at heart
All you helpless
On the boulevard
Wherever you are now
Whatever evil you've found
Bring all of your troubles
And come lay 'em down

We're all tied to the same old failings
Finding shelter in things we know
We're all dirty like corrupted small towns
Bring our troubles
Bring our troubles
Lay 'em down

Washed by the Water

Daddy was a preacher
She was his wife
Just tryin to make the world a little better
You know, shine a light
People started talking
Just to hear their own voice
Those people tried to accuse my father
Said he made the wrong choice
Though it might be painful
You know that time will always tell
Those people have long since gone
My father never failed

Even when the rain falls
Even when the flood starts rising
Even when the storm comes
I am washed by the water

Even when the Earth crumbles under my feet
Even when the ones I love turn around and crucify me
I won’t never ever let you down
I won’t fall
I won’t fall
I won’t fall as long as you’re around me

Something Beautiful

In your ocean I'm ankle deep
I feel the waves crashing on my feet
It's like I know where I need to be, but
I can't figure out, I can't figure out
Just how much air I will need to breathe
When your wave crashes over me
There's only one way to figure out
But will you let me drown
Will you let me drown

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire
'Cause I just want
Something beautiful to touch me
I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees
And waiting for
Something beautiful

I have to stop there, or I'll end up posting all their lyrics to every song. It's that good.

Good Decisions

Today is a day of good decisions.

I haven't been making many of those over the last few weeks; I've been spending my time, energy, and emotions poorly.

Today was different.

Today I got up with the purpose of living well. I started my morning here:

You can't see them in such a tiny picture, but there are pelicans on most of those posts. Just hanging out, doing what pelicans do.

Bennet was with me on the beach. Midway through our long walk we stopped so I could have breakfast: Greek yogurt and pineapple chunks. I brought it with me in a little paper bag. I set out Bennet's water bowl, and we sat on the rocks soaking up the sun.

I was going to go to church, but Stupid Puppy rolled in something funky. I gave her a bath and forgot all about that plan.

How do you forget about church?

I never would have done it before, but I did it today.

So not entirely a day of good decisions.

I went to Mod for a while. To work, but my computer battery died and I didn't have access to a plug. So I read a while and came home. I've been applying for jobs. It's not going well. This is my second to last week, and I don't even have an interview lined up.

It's a little terrifying.

Kyle says I can work at the center for a while, if I need to. I asked him. It feels not right, having to ask for that. I really want a job somewhere else. My island is beautiful, but I want to get away, to start afresh again.

I do that a lot. Start over somewhere new. I guess I'm a gypsy.

I'm not sure that's a good thing.

Anyway.

Bennet wants to say hello:

Alison gave her a faux-hawk.

I'm a fan. You?