Okay, in Texas we still have 53 minutes until the new year officially begins. But it's already 2010 in Michigan.
I was going to do a bullet-pointed list of my highlights from the year, but it's impossible; a thread ran throughout this year, connecting each and every moment together. I couldn't say that one individual event was of greater significance than another.
What I can say is this:
2009 was a year of faith. Of jumping off the diving board into murky waters. Of finding the bottom and struggling my way back to the top. It was a year of previously unknown strength and of tears, of homesickness and of finding a new home. I discovered more deeply who I am, for better or worse. I made changes, fell back on old vices, and tried new things.
I can't predict what the next year will hold. I have my plans, have my goals, and have my hopes. And yet if there's anything I've learned this year, it was that everything can change in an instant. And that makes it exciting. I'm sitting on the edge of my seat, waiting for the year to unfold and show me its secrets.
I wish for you the same excitement. I hope that this year is full of adventure, of unexpected (pleasant!) surprises and twists in the road. I hope that, in one year, you enter into another new year a changed person, a better person. And I pray that God will bless you throughout the journey.
Happy New Year, friends. Let's make it a good one.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
I got my white Christmas.
It's my last day in the mitten state.
Now, I guess that's not quite fair, showing up on here and saying "Ho, I'm leaving!" when I never even said that I was going anywhere to begin with. So I'll recap:
A week ago, at an hour that should never be beheld by man's waking eye, I left my island in the Gulf for the Great White North. It was 62 degrees when we left. 43 hours later, after 22 hours of driving, a 5.5 hour train ride, and a break for sleepy time in Iowa, I arrived in my hometown. It was 17 degrees.
Gross.
Good thing I packed all those sweaters.
And tights.
Although I ruined one pair of tights exiting the train with my usual grace and glory. I handed my suitcase to the porter, but, still straddled with my computer bag and a small duffel, I then missed one step with my foot and hit another with my knee.
It doesn't look so bad now, but hat's after a week of healing. You should have seen it the day of.
In any case, what better way to say "Welcome to Michigan!" is there than by falling off a train?
Given that I *technically* arrived on Christmas Eve (it was 12:15am, Eastern time), my first three days of this visit were chock full of activities and adventures. There was Christmas shopping to be finished, gifts to wrap, parties to attend, Christmas dinner to cook, family time to be had, and a wedding to witness.
The wedding was my grandfather's.
Please note, for those of you who have not experienced it before, attending the wedding of your grandfather, to a woman you've known for a significant portion of your life, is just plain weird.
I'm happy that he's happy, I really am. But suddenly being one of 25 "cousins," one of whom I was friends with in high school, and having nearly the same number of "aunts" and "uncles" is rather odd. The happy couple hosted a family open house on Christmas Eve, and I met all sorts of new folks that I'm now step-related to. I don't remember most of them. Given that I'll see them no more than once a year, I think I'm off the hook on knowing names.
It was a difficult few days, with the meet-and-greet, holiday celebrations, and nuptials. It's been more than two years since my grandmother passed away, but I still miss her immensely. Nancy will never take her place, and never fill the void she left behind. I felt the loss most acutely while I was cooking Christmas dinner.
We've always had Christmas at our house, and it usually was my mom cooking, with my grandma sitting at the table and helping whenever possible, and me floating around to be intermittently helpful and goofy.
Last year I started cooking, with my mom assisting, and my grandmother's stool sits empty. I was so tired from traveling this year, and so upset by all the changes in my family that I broke down crying over the stove.
Perhaps a few tears sweeten the broth, because the dinner turned out well, and the rest of the day was pleasant enough.
And finally on Saturday night, after the wedding and "after-party" were over, I kicked off my heels, left the hard parts of the week behind me, and began to truly enjoy my relaxing Northern vacation.
Despite having no kids at home (or even in-state), my parents bought a Wii. For reals. They got it for the WiiFit program specifically, but they're pretty much the coolest parents on the block, a status somehwhat lost on the fact that I don't live up here anymore to brag.
Thank goodness for blogs -- are YOUR parents as cool as mine?
So I've been honing my tennis/baseball/bowling/golf/balance/yoga skills fairly frequently over the last few days.
And cleaning out the closet in my old bedroom (and finding more and more things I really want to take back to Texas).
And watching movies.
And cuddling with my kitty.
Doesn't she look ecstatic?
This afternoon I'm going sledding with some kids I've known since their birth...which was not that early in my own life.
Wow, I feel old.
But I'm really excited.
And early tomorrow morning I leave again, bound for Chicago to meet Maggie and Murphy, then South we go, back to our warm, sunny island.
And back to my puppy.
I'm ready. I guess you know you're an adult when the charms of your hometown are all worn out after just a few days, and home -- however far away it may be -- begins to call.
Now, I guess that's not quite fair, showing up on here and saying "Ho, I'm leaving!" when I never even said that I was going anywhere to begin with. So I'll recap:
A week ago, at an hour that should never be beheld by man's waking eye, I left my island in the Gulf for the Great White North. It was 62 degrees when we left. 43 hours later, after 22 hours of driving, a 5.5 hour train ride, and a break for sleepy time in Iowa, I arrived in my hometown. It was 17 degrees.
Gross.
Good thing I packed all those sweaters.
And tights.
Although I ruined one pair of tights exiting the train with my usual grace and glory. I handed my suitcase to the porter, but, still straddled with my computer bag and a small duffel, I then missed one step with my foot and hit another with my knee.
It doesn't look so bad now, but hat's after a week of healing. You should have seen it the day of.
In any case, what better way to say "Welcome to Michigan!" is there than by falling off a train?
Given that I *technically* arrived on Christmas Eve (it was 12:15am, Eastern time), my first three days of this visit were chock full of activities and adventures. There was Christmas shopping to be finished, gifts to wrap, parties to attend, Christmas dinner to cook, family time to be had, and a wedding to witness.
The wedding was my grandfather's.
Please note, for those of you who have not experienced it before, attending the wedding of your grandfather, to a woman you've known for a significant portion of your life, is just plain weird.
I'm happy that he's happy, I really am. But suddenly being one of 25 "cousins," one of whom I was friends with in high school, and having nearly the same number of "aunts" and "uncles" is rather odd. The happy couple hosted a family open house on Christmas Eve, and I met all sorts of new folks that I'm now step-related to. I don't remember most of them. Given that I'll see them no more than once a year, I think I'm off the hook on knowing names.
It was a difficult few days, with the meet-and-greet, holiday celebrations, and nuptials. It's been more than two years since my grandmother passed away, but I still miss her immensely. Nancy will never take her place, and never fill the void she left behind. I felt the loss most acutely while I was cooking Christmas dinner.
We've always had Christmas at our house, and it usually was my mom cooking, with my grandma sitting at the table and helping whenever possible, and me floating around to be intermittently helpful and goofy.
Last year I started cooking, with my mom assisting, and my grandmother's stool sits empty. I was so tired from traveling this year, and so upset by all the changes in my family that I broke down crying over the stove.
Perhaps a few tears sweeten the broth, because the dinner turned out well, and the rest of the day was pleasant enough.
And finally on Saturday night, after the wedding and "after-party" were over, I kicked off my heels, left the hard parts of the week behind me, and began to truly enjoy my relaxing Northern vacation.
Despite having no kids at home (or even in-state), my parents bought a Wii. For reals. They got it for the WiiFit program specifically, but they're pretty much the coolest parents on the block, a status somehwhat lost on the fact that I don't live up here anymore to brag.
Thank goodness for blogs -- are YOUR parents as cool as mine?
So I've been honing my tennis/baseball/bowling/golf/balance/yoga skills fairly frequently over the last few days.
And cleaning out the closet in my old bedroom (and finding more and more things I really want to take back to Texas).
And watching movies.
And cuddling with my kitty.
Doesn't she look ecstatic?
This afternoon I'm going sledding with some kids I've known since their birth...which was not that early in my own life.
Wow, I feel old.
But I'm really excited.
And early tomorrow morning I leave again, bound for Chicago to meet Maggie and Murphy, then South we go, back to our warm, sunny island.
And back to my puppy.
I'm ready. I guess you know you're an adult when the charms of your hometown are all worn out after just a few days, and home -- however far away it may be -- begins to call.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
It should be noted that I don't particularly like New Year's Resolutions.
I've simply never understood why we should wait until the new year when we could do something today.
If you want to make a change, just do it.
{It should also be noted that I'm not particularly good at practicing what I preach. I'm great at making resolutions throughout the year. They just don't always have staying power.}
In any case, I was thinking this morning about the pending arrival of 2010.
It's getting close, kids. 15 more days.
And, while I generally prefer not to divide and define my life changes by years, there's no denying that it provides a useful segmentation to the onward-marching vectors of our lifetimes.
2009 was a banner year for me.
It was the year I stepped out in faith. The year I quit my job, moved to Texas, moved again within Texas, began a work for which I am passionate, and got a puppy.
The thought that I've been turning over in my mind the past week or so is simple:
Why can't 2010 be even better??
I'm looking forward to the next year. And yes, there may be some resolutions that happen to correspond with January 1st. :)
I've simply never understood why we should wait until the new year when we could do something today.
If you want to make a change, just do it.
{It should also be noted that I'm not particularly good at practicing what I preach. I'm great at making resolutions throughout the year. They just don't always have staying power.}
In any case, I was thinking this morning about the pending arrival of 2010.
It's getting close, kids. 15 more days.
And, while I generally prefer not to divide and define my life changes by years, there's no denying that it provides a useful segmentation to the onward-marching vectors of our lifetimes.
2009 was a banner year for me.
It was the year I stepped out in faith. The year I quit my job, moved to Texas, moved again within Texas, began a work for which I am passionate, and got a puppy.
The thought that I've been turning over in my mind the past week or so is simple:
Why can't 2010 be even better??
I'm looking forward to the next year. And yes, there may be some resolutions that happen to correspond with January 1st. :)
Monday, December 14, 2009
Christmas is a Time for Happy Ridiculousness.
I'll admit it: Until 11:59pm on November 30th, I'm a scrooge.
I don't want to hear Christmas carols before December first, and don't you dare play them all year long. Even then, I'd rather not have Christmas songs be ALL I hear.
BUT.
About two weeks before Christmas my mood starts to shift.
Last night I watched "White Christmas."
I sat in the living room, curled up on the couch with Bennet, singing along with Bing and Danny and Rosemary and Vera Ellen. Kind of loudly.
One of my roommates came down at one point, and in response to my excited "I'm watching White Christmas!" she called me a tool.
Psh.
I won't watch that movie in May. Or in October. Or any of those other non-December months. But when I do, I will watch it with glee. And sing along. Because, really, how can you not?
"Snow, snow, snow, snow, SNOW!! It won't be long before we'll all be there with snow...."
{8 days until I leave for the north.}
I don't want to hear Christmas carols before December first, and don't you dare play them all year long. Even then, I'd rather not have Christmas songs be ALL I hear.
BUT.
About two weeks before Christmas my mood starts to shift.
Last night I watched "White Christmas."
I sat in the living room, curled up on the couch with Bennet, singing along with Bing and Danny and Rosemary and Vera Ellen. Kind of loudly.
One of my roommates came down at one point, and in response to my excited "I'm watching White Christmas!" she called me a tool.
Psh.
I won't watch that movie in May. Or in October. Or any of those other non-December months. But when I do, I will watch it with glee. And sing along. Because, really, how can you not?
"Snow, snow, snow, snow, SNOW!! It won't be long before we'll all be there with snow...."
{8 days until I leave for the north.}
Monday, December 7, 2009
Just another manic Monday.
As if our three dogs weren't enough, we have a neighbor-pup.
His name is Milo. He's not actually the nicest furball in the world. But he's really cute and loves to play with Bennet and Murphy.
Unrelated:
:)
Happy Monday!
His name is Milo. He's not actually the nicest furball in the world. But he's really cute and loves to play with Bennet and Murphy.
Unrelated:
:)
Happy Monday!
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Leaving the Nest
This morning was my last day as a BrazosPointe Fellowship All-Stars volunteer.
I introduced my kids to their new team-time leader, Kim. And then, at the end of the morning, Kathy pulled me up front to have the kids say good-bye.
I hadn't told the teen leaders, or Jeff. So as Kathy is saying, "Miss Carolyn, come up here," Kyle, one of the high school-aged helpers, yells, "No! No!" And afterwards, Jeff catches me and says, "I had to find out from Kathy?"
I wasn't sure how to tell them. So I didn't.
This new chapter is exciting -- I'm ready to find a community here in Galveston. But it's sad. These people are the reason I settled into Texas so quickly and easily, and I will miss them dearly.
I will miss playing catchphrase at small group. Going out to lunch after church. Dancing around with the kids in All-Stars. Being teased by the high schoolers for being tiny and young-looking. Adorable child-faces looking at me in wonder.
A deep and rich faith community is hard to come by. God put amazing people in my life just when I needed it, as a yankee girl alone in Texas. And then He brought me here. I don't know why; this is certainly not how I imagined my year going. But there it is, and all I can do is embrace it.
I introduced my kids to their new team-time leader, Kim. And then, at the end of the morning, Kathy pulled me up front to have the kids say good-bye.
I hadn't told the teen leaders, or Jeff. So as Kathy is saying, "Miss Carolyn, come up here," Kyle, one of the high school-aged helpers, yells, "No! No!" And afterwards, Jeff catches me and says, "I had to find out from Kathy?"
I wasn't sure how to tell them. So I didn't.
This new chapter is exciting -- I'm ready to find a community here in Galveston. But it's sad. These people are the reason I settled into Texas so quickly and easily, and I will miss them dearly.
I will miss playing catchphrase at small group. Going out to lunch after church. Dancing around with the kids in All-Stars. Being teased by the high schoolers for being tiny and young-looking. Adorable child-faces looking at me in wonder.
A deep and rich faith community is hard to come by. God put amazing people in my life just when I needed it, as a yankee girl alone in Texas. And then He brought me here. I don't know why; this is certainly not how I imagined my year going. But there it is, and all I can do is embrace it.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Tonight.
Tonight I don't want to be single. Tonight I don't want to be alone.
Rather than sitting in my PJs pretending to clean my room while I actually browse the web, I want to get dolled up. I want to get some use out of my froufy dresses and my fancy heels. I want to take two hours to get ready because I'm getting my makeup just right. Then I want someone to come to my door and hesitate for a moment before he says hello because he's caught off-guard and has to catch his breath, telling me without a word that I am beautiful. I want to be guided through the doorway with his hand on the small of my back, a gesture of both protection and affection. And I want to end the night with a long embrace that lingers with our fingers touching until the very last moment our arms can span the widening gulf between us as I turn to walk through my door.
Instead, tonight I'll go to bed without thoughts or newly-created memories of any special someone. And I'll wake tomorrow not to a good morning text because he just couldn't wait to say hi, but to a six-month-old terrier licking my nose because she really has to pee and needs me to get up right away.
It might not be what I want, but it's what I have right now.
At least the terrier is pretty adorable.
Rather than sitting in my PJs pretending to clean my room while I actually browse the web, I want to get dolled up. I want to get some use out of my froufy dresses and my fancy heels. I want to take two hours to get ready because I'm getting my makeup just right. Then I want someone to come to my door and hesitate for a moment before he says hello because he's caught off-guard and has to catch his breath, telling me without a word that I am beautiful. I want to be guided through the doorway with his hand on the small of my back, a gesture of both protection and affection. And I want to end the night with a long embrace that lingers with our fingers touching until the very last moment our arms can span the widening gulf between us as I turn to walk through my door.
Instead, tonight I'll go to bed without thoughts or newly-created memories of any special someone. And I'll wake tomorrow not to a good morning text because he just couldn't wait to say hi, but to a six-month-old terrier licking my nose because she really has to pee and needs me to get up right away.
It might not be what I want, but it's what I have right now.
At least the terrier is pretty adorable.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Nu Joisy.
Have you seen the new MTV Real World-esque show "The Jersey Shore"?
Don't. It's terrible.
It features eight self-proclaimed guidos and guidettes living in a house on the boardwalk of the Jersey Shore, several miles up the coastline from the family-friendly town where I spent a few months three summers ago.
It's a horrible show. Lots of bleeped-out cuss words, blurred body parts, alcohol, and immoral behavior.
We watched it for two hours last night.
Two hours.
And have plans to watch next week.
It's that hilariously horrible.
Don't watch. You'll get sucked in too.
Don't. It's terrible.
It features eight self-proclaimed guidos and guidettes living in a house on the boardwalk of the Jersey Shore, several miles up the coastline from the family-friendly town where I spent a few months three summers ago.
It's a horrible show. Lots of bleeped-out cuss words, blurred body parts, alcohol, and immoral behavior.
We watched it for two hours last night.
Two hours.
And have plans to watch next week.
It's that hilariously horrible.
Don't watch. You'll get sucked in too.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Why not?
Today I'm wearing a long-sleeved red lumberjack plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up to my elbows under a short-sleeved red v-neck sweater. Which caused Maggie to incredulously exclaim, "Are you wearing plaid and a sweater?" upon my entrance to the office this morning.
Yes, yes I am.
I'm not in love with this outfit, but there's something funky/retro/nerdy about it that just works for me.
Upon now realizing that most of my 6 (is that being optimistic?) faithful readers don't give a toad's toe about my wardrobe choices, I have decided that I will now continue on in the same vein.
Well, 'cause I can. It's my blog.
This week, I've been super giggly and happy and ridiculous. I feel creative, and adventurous.
My funky/nerdy/retro clothing reflects that.
I'm taking a chance.
Sure, it just involves pulling a few things out of my over-stuffed closet and putting them on.
Sure, it's just clothing.
But it's a reflection of me, and of how I feel.
And today it reflects that I'm bold and a little ridiculous.
I like that.
Even if I did switch out my sassy shoes (a pair of red stilettos), for a pair that's far more sensible (read: comfortable), even if they're black.
Yes, yes I am.
I'm not in love with this outfit, but there's something funky/retro/nerdy about it that just works for me.
Upon now realizing that most of my 6 (is that being optimistic?) faithful readers don't give a toad's toe about my wardrobe choices, I have decided that I will now continue on in the same vein.
Well, 'cause I can. It's my blog.
This week, I've been super giggly and happy and ridiculous. I feel creative, and adventurous.
My funky/nerdy/retro clothing reflects that.
I'm taking a chance.
Sure, it just involves pulling a few things out of my over-stuffed closet and putting them on.
Sure, it's just clothing.
But it's a reflection of me, and of how I feel.
And today it reflects that I'm bold and a little ridiculous.
I like that.
Even if I did switch out my sassy shoes (a pair of red stilettos), for a pair that's far more sensible (read: comfortable), even if they're black.