Friday, January 30, 2009
My life would be so much better if...
...my jeans stayed the same size all day. This whole "10 when you put them on," "12 when you take them off" thing is really quite lame.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
I need to buy...
...a US map. Like the one that Tom Hanks pulls down in the move "Sleepless in Seattle" to show his son, Jonah, where that place "somewhere in the middle" is. I don't actually remember what city they were looking for. Maybe DeMoines? I figured quoting Jonah was sufficient to show my loyalties to the film.
The point is, I keep having to look up places. It certainly makes me grateful for Google maps.
5:15 tonight, then 6:00 on Tuesday. Two new doors of opportunity, in addition to the one I peeked in on Tuesday.
It's all happening at once, and I'm so excited/nervous/scared/ready I can hardly sit still.
The point is, I keep having to look up places. It certainly makes me grateful for Google maps.
5:15 tonight, then 6:00 on Tuesday. Two new doors of opportunity, in addition to the one I peeked in on Tuesday.
It's all happening at once, and I'm so excited/nervous/scared/ready I can hardly sit still.
I have a kazoo...
...in my pocket. Yesterday was National Kazoo Day. Did you celebrate? We had a party.
I wasn't going to blog today, but I needed to. As I was readying myself for the day this morning, I had a sad epiphany.
At the start of the year, I made a commitment to spend and save my money well, and part of that was to no longer eat out. Those burgers and breadbowls and tacos add up...and usually aren't worth what we pay, especially when we add the health costs into the dollar menu fees.
And yet, in the past two weeks I've been relying heavily on Panera, McDonald's, and Taco Bell for my meals. Not every meal, mind you, but nearly every day, or at least several times a week. The irony is that I love to cook, and I love good food, and yet I consistently lower my tastes in this way.
This morning I realized why: It is easier to become busy and use that as an excuse for having to grab a quick drive-through meal than to face the fact that when I cook, and even when I make that simple peanut butter sandwich, I eat alone. When I'm in my car, jetting from point a to point b, with point c on my mind, I don't have to dwell on that fact.
It was two weeks ago today that I decided to change my life. And while that is a very exciting decision, it is one in which I walk alone (my shadow is the only one who walks beside me...). Friends may cheer me on, pout at my leaving, or bid me goodbye, but it's me who goes, who steps out into newness without anybody next to me to hang on to.
Eating alone in an echo-y apartment right now seems too much to handle. At least subconsiously, though I don't think the realization will make it any easier.
I wasn't going to blog today, but I needed to. As I was readying myself for the day this morning, I had a sad epiphany.
At the start of the year, I made a commitment to spend and save my money well, and part of that was to no longer eat out. Those burgers and breadbowls and tacos add up...and usually aren't worth what we pay, especially when we add the health costs into the dollar menu fees.
And yet, in the past two weeks I've been relying heavily on Panera, McDonald's, and Taco Bell for my meals. Not every meal, mind you, but nearly every day, or at least several times a week. The irony is that I love to cook, and I love good food, and yet I consistently lower my tastes in this way.
This morning I realized why: It is easier to become busy and use that as an excuse for having to grab a quick drive-through meal than to face the fact that when I cook, and even when I make that simple peanut butter sandwich, I eat alone. When I'm in my car, jetting from point a to point b, with point c on my mind, I don't have to dwell on that fact.
It was two weeks ago today that I decided to change my life. And while that is a very exciting decision, it is one in which I walk alone (my shadow is the only one who walks beside me...). Friends may cheer me on, pout at my leaving, or bid me goodbye, but it's me who goes, who steps out into newness without anybody next to me to hang on to.
Eating alone in an echo-y apartment right now seems too much to handle. At least subconsiously, though I don't think the realization will make it any easier.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
My daddy sent me...
...this email, and it made me smile. Read, and be happy (or offended...and if you are, let's chat).
FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY - ( A MUST READ )
FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY - ( A MUST READ )
FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY In Florida, an atheist created a case against the upcoming Easter and Passover Holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians, Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days.
The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate Presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, "Case Dismissed!"
The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honor, How can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet My Client and all other atheists have no Such holidays."
The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, Counsel, is woefully ignorant."
The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance Or holiday for atheists."
The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that if your client says there is no God, Then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned."
Hey, hey, it's my...
birthday!! I'm 23 today, and as Gina says, in the prime of my life. Harhar. Har.
Corny jokes aside, I love birthdays. I'm still a little kid about a lot of things, and this is one of them. Though, when I woke up this morning, I wasn't exactly excited for another year.
I slept restlessly, and then Midnight woke me up once. I love her, but not at 4:30am, and especially not under the particular circumstances. If you don't like your hair sitting in your stomach, stop licking yourself. It worked wonders for me.
I finally rolled out of bed at 6:55 (my alarm started going off at 6) and shuffled into the shower. I was cranky, thinking how birthdays past thirteen are kind of lame -- nobody's here to wake me up with a birthday breakfast or tell me they're glad I'm alive. It's just another day. But then my mood began to change, and the ageless excitement of my birthday won me over.
I'm at work today, but I look great, and I'm happy. I've already had nearly 20 well-wishes on my facebook (which, admittedly, has made birthdays past thirteen less lame), and an e-card from Madre and Daddy. And tonight I have my thing at 5:00, which has potential to set the tone for the rest of the year.
It's going to be a good day, and it's going to be a good year. :)
Corny jokes aside, I love birthdays. I'm still a little kid about a lot of things, and this is one of them. Though, when I woke up this morning, I wasn't exactly excited for another year.
I slept restlessly, and then Midnight woke me up once. I love her, but not at 4:30am, and especially not under the particular circumstances. If you don't like your hair sitting in your stomach, stop licking yourself. It worked wonders for me.
I finally rolled out of bed at 6:55 (my alarm started going off at 6) and shuffled into the shower. I was cranky, thinking how birthdays past thirteen are kind of lame -- nobody's here to wake me up with a birthday breakfast or tell me they're glad I'm alive. It's just another day. But then my mood began to change, and the ageless excitement of my birthday won me over.
I'm at work today, but I look great, and I'm happy. I've already had nearly 20 well-wishes on my facebook (which, admittedly, has made birthdays past thirteen less lame), and an e-card from Madre and Daddy. And tonight I have my thing at 5:00, which has potential to set the tone for the rest of the year.
It's going to be a good day, and it's going to be a good year. :)
Monday, January 26, 2009
All I have to say is that...
...I was already on the road to volunteerism before Obama said anything. But it amuses me that I'm now one of many because of his urging.
My senior year of high school I was voted "Class Volunteer." Who needs "Most Successful" when you've got the world to save?
My senior year of high school I was voted "Class Volunteer." Who needs "Most Successful" when you've got the world to save?
It's a beautiful day in...
...the neighborhood.
Tomorrow, 5:00pm. Pray pray pray that things go well.
Kthanksbye!
Tomorrow, 5:00pm. Pray pray pray that things go well.
Kthanksbye!
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Seventh post in...
...just three days. It's a record! Or an obsession, but the former is more flattering.
It's strange when someone you once fancied yourself to be in love with gets married to someone else. I was young, foolish, and caught up in the magic of someone--anyone--being attracted to me. I made mistakes. I made a lot of mistakes, some of which will continue to affect the relationships I have long into the future. Do we ever fully recover from a broken heart? I don't know yet. Two years hasn't completely eradicated the hurt, though the sting is far less sharp.
The funny thing about love, and about love lost, is that dwelling in the heartache perpetuates it. Opening yourself up to love again -- becoming vulnerable though you know the hurt that may come -- is what opens you to the potential of healing.
I've been in a whopping two relationships in my life. In nearly 23 years, someone has called me their own for just 6 months. Those times, though limited, have been times of great joy and opportunities to learn more about myself than I could ever know while on my own. I look forward to my next adventure in romance (and admittedly, I hope I can apply the "3rd time's the charm rule, and just make that one stick). Many of my friends are ring shopping, planning weddings, and having babies, while I spend my evenings cuddling up to a furry black cat. I dearly love her, but she will never provide a sufficient substitute for a man.
Yet in a rare period of contentment, I'm happy with my current state. The world holds possibilities for me that my attached friends can't imagine -- at least not without the consent, sacrifice, and/or participation of their significant other.
I'm 23,* single, and childless. And I'm happy. Booyah.
*Okay, I'm not 23 yet. But I will be in less than 48 hours, so I'm practicing.
It's strange when someone you once fancied yourself to be in love with gets married to someone else. I was young, foolish, and caught up in the magic of someone--anyone--being attracted to me. I made mistakes. I made a lot of mistakes, some of which will continue to affect the relationships I have long into the future. Do we ever fully recover from a broken heart? I don't know yet. Two years hasn't completely eradicated the hurt, though the sting is far less sharp.
The funny thing about love, and about love lost, is that dwelling in the heartache perpetuates it. Opening yourself up to love again -- becoming vulnerable though you know the hurt that may come -- is what opens you to the potential of healing.
I've been in a whopping two relationships in my life. In nearly 23 years, someone has called me their own for just 6 months. Those times, though limited, have been times of great joy and opportunities to learn more about myself than I could ever know while on my own. I look forward to my next adventure in romance (and admittedly, I hope I can apply the "3rd time's the charm rule, and just make that one stick). Many of my friends are ring shopping, planning weddings, and having babies, while I spend my evenings cuddling up to a furry black cat. I dearly love her, but she will never provide a sufficient substitute for a man.
Yet in a rare period of contentment, I'm happy with my current state. The world holds possibilities for me that my attached friends can't imagine -- at least not without the consent, sacrifice, and/or participation of their significant other.
I'm 23,* single, and childless. And I'm happy. Booyah.
*Okay, I'm not 23 yet. But I will be in less than 48 hours, so I'm practicing.
Yesterday was a good...
...day. It really was. After waking up much earlier than hoped or intended, I scooted off to Livonia. I had no trouble finding the SOS office, and had just one minor near-incident in the parking lot (white cars shouldn't exist in Michigan...that's all I'm saying). I was in and out in 5 minutes, then back on my way.
I could have just hopped on the highway and been back in Ann Arbor in 30 minutes or so, but I didn't want to. So I just sort of started to drive. I knew where I was on the map, and I knew where Ann Arbor was, so I knew the general direction I needed to go in order to get home. My intention was to take Plymouth road back, and I found it somewhat accidentally. But I also somewhat accidentally lost it. Eventually my meanderings led to US-12, which I'm quite familiar with, and so I hopped on and headed west.
While I was still in the Plymouth/Livonia area I found a Tim Horton's and went in for coffee and a cruller. The place was packed with senior citizens, and I sat by myself and, admittedly, listened to their conversations. There is something about people of that generation that I love to listen to -- something that's lost on us young folks. Perhaps it's a formality of speech, but also a wisdom. It seems to me that, even when speaking of frivolous things, many older persons choose their words carefully and well, and it makes their conversations rich and full.
After I found my way to 12, I saw a little strip mall with nothing else around it, and decided to go in. There wasn't much there, but there was a Kohl's and an Old Navy, and I found great deals and spent money I shouldn't have. But I shopped smart, and so I'm letting it slide for now. :)
From there I just came back home, got lunch, and gave myself a doll-up day. I took another shower, actually styled my hair (as opposed to drying and hoping it does something), cleared out my pores with a facial mask, and redid my make-up. Then I put on my brand-new burgundy dress with my gorgeous burgundy heels, and headed out the door to Huron High School.
The Ann Arbor District Library (which I love) was sponsoring a presentation by author and humanitarian Greg Mortenson, who has been building schools throughout the remote areas of Pakistan and Afghanistan for some 15 years. Despite the enmity between those nations and the United States, this American has gained their trust by doing good for the people, and is welcome nearly anywhere he goes. I had seen mention of his book on Google books, but when I saw the announcement that he was coming to Ann Arbor, I reserved it so that I could read it before he came. The book is powerful -- as much a biography as a detailed telling of his work, as his work has certainly become his life. He stumbled upon a village named Korphe, rashly promised to build a school for the children who studied outdoors, and found his life's calling. Seeing him speak put a face, a personality, a living being behind the stories. I had to leave early, as I was meeting people at Mongolian BBQ for dinner, but I plan to listen to the remainder of his talk on the AADL website when it's posted. Truly, I take my education for granted, but his work and his stories and his facts reminded me of the power of an educated mind -- and also how blessed I was to grow up in a family and nation that valued it.
The rest of the evening was low-key, but delightful. I joined friends at BD's to celebrate Gideon's birthday and was able to talk with people I hadn't seen in some time. Good food, too. I did regret those heels when I had to run back out to my car after dinner to retrieve my free meal coupon. I had no intention of paying, though. After dinner, a few of us went back to Gideon's and watched The Dark Knight. I don't know why, but throughout the movie I had the feeling I'd seen it before, though I certainly haven't. I have seen Batman Begins, though, and so maybe I was projecting my minimal knowledge of that movie onto this one. The movie was okay, but long -- I felt as though the story were complex and dragged out simply for the sake of being so. Perhaps creativity has been stretched so far that it becomes necessary to do that and remain on top.
In any case, I got home a little before two and all but fell into bed.
And now I might have made myself late for church by posting here. Off I go!!
I could have just hopped on the highway and been back in Ann Arbor in 30 minutes or so, but I didn't want to. So I just sort of started to drive. I knew where I was on the map, and I knew where Ann Arbor was, so I knew the general direction I needed to go in order to get home. My intention was to take Plymouth road back, and I found it somewhat accidentally. But I also somewhat accidentally lost it. Eventually my meanderings led to US-12, which I'm quite familiar with, and so I hopped on and headed west.
While I was still in the Plymouth/Livonia area I found a Tim Horton's and went in for coffee and a cruller. The place was packed with senior citizens, and I sat by myself and, admittedly, listened to their conversations. There is something about people of that generation that I love to listen to -- something that's lost on us young folks. Perhaps it's a formality of speech, but also a wisdom. It seems to me that, even when speaking of frivolous things, many older persons choose their words carefully and well, and it makes their conversations rich and full.
After I found my way to 12, I saw a little strip mall with nothing else around it, and decided to go in. There wasn't much there, but there was a Kohl's and an Old Navy, and I found great deals and spent money I shouldn't have. But I shopped smart, and so I'm letting it slide for now. :)
From there I just came back home, got lunch, and gave myself a doll-up day. I took another shower, actually styled my hair (as opposed to drying and hoping it does something), cleared out my pores with a facial mask, and redid my make-up. Then I put on my brand-new burgundy dress with my gorgeous burgundy heels, and headed out the door to Huron High School.
The Ann Arbor District Library (which I love) was sponsoring a presentation by author and humanitarian Greg Mortenson, who has been building schools throughout the remote areas of Pakistan and Afghanistan for some 15 years. Despite the enmity between those nations and the United States, this American has gained their trust by doing good for the people, and is welcome nearly anywhere he goes. I had seen mention of his book on Google books, but when I saw the announcement that he was coming to Ann Arbor, I reserved it so that I could read it before he came. The book is powerful -- as much a biography as a detailed telling of his work, as his work has certainly become his life. He stumbled upon a village named Korphe, rashly promised to build a school for the children who studied outdoors, and found his life's calling. Seeing him speak put a face, a personality, a living being behind the stories. I had to leave early, as I was meeting people at Mongolian BBQ for dinner, but I plan to listen to the remainder of his talk on the AADL website when it's posted. Truly, I take my education for granted, but his work and his stories and his facts reminded me of the power of an educated mind -- and also how blessed I was to grow up in a family and nation that valued it.
The rest of the evening was low-key, but delightful. I joined friends at BD's to celebrate Gideon's birthday and was able to talk with people I hadn't seen in some time. Good food, too. I did regret those heels when I had to run back out to my car after dinner to retrieve my free meal coupon. I had no intention of paying, though. After dinner, a few of us went back to Gideon's and watched The Dark Knight. I don't know why, but throughout the movie I had the feeling I'd seen it before, though I certainly haven't. I have seen Batman Begins, though, and so maybe I was projecting my minimal knowledge of that movie onto this one. The movie was okay, but long -- I felt as though the story were complex and dragged out simply for the sake of being so. Perhaps creativity has been stretched so far that it becomes necessary to do that and remain on top.
In any case, I got home a little before two and all but fell into bed.
And now I might have made myself late for church by posting here. Off I go!!
Saturday, January 24, 2009
It's 7:29am, and I've been...
...awake for an hour. On my day off, no less. Oh well. I suppose it's all the better because I have to drive to Livonia to renew my license plate this morning. I should have done it online or over the phone a week ago, but I forgot and can't find the information anyway.
Maybe I'll meet adventure along the way. Maybe a band of highway robbers will stop by car, but I'll take them all down single-handedly in a surprising moment of super-hero capabilities. I'll tie them to a fence post and wait for the cops with my fists on my hips and my chin in the air. The cops will call the press and report the story, and it'll spread world-wide, and I'll become famous and Oprah will invite me to be a guest on her show.
Brilliant.
In reality, though, I'll probably just get there and get back. Maybe, maybe maybe, if I see an interesting little store or coffee shop, I'll stop by. I'm in no rush today. :)
Maybe I'll meet adventure along the way. Maybe a band of highway robbers will stop by car, but I'll take them all down single-handedly in a surprising moment of super-hero capabilities. I'll tie them to a fence post and wait for the cops with my fists on my hips and my chin in the air. The cops will call the press and report the story, and it'll spread world-wide, and I'll become famous and Oprah will invite me to be a guest on her show.
Brilliant.
In reality, though, I'll probably just get there and get back. Maybe, maybe maybe, if I see an interesting little store or coffee shop, I'll stop by. I'm in no rush today. :)
Friday, January 23, 2009
One for the money, two for the show.
It's been an emotional rollercoaster kind of day. Not like Mantis, where your insides get shaken so that when you get off the ride you're still wobbling and feel a little sick...like Millennium Force, when you climb the first hill with your heart pounding, but once you're over the edge, the rest is just crazy wicked fun.
I got an email today closing one door and cracking another. But I had to go find the cracked door, and in my search I blindly stumbled upon another. I still haven't found the cracked door, but someone is standing behind the one I fell upon, and may open it for me.
That's ambiguous and veiled (and a little weird?), I know. I wish I could be open about what's going on right now, but I can't. Not on a blog, where the whole world has potential to see (though far be it from me to believe they are actually reading it). Soon, I hope, I will be able to speak freely. I look forward to it. :)
I got an email today closing one door and cracking another. But I had to go find the cracked door, and in my search I blindly stumbled upon another. I still haven't found the cracked door, but someone is standing behind the one I fell upon, and may open it for me.
That's ambiguous and veiled (and a little weird?), I know. I wish I could be open about what's going on right now, but I can't. Not on a blog, where the whole world has potential to see (though far be it from me to believe they are actually reading it). Soon, I hope, I will be able to speak freely. I look forward to it. :)
I Think I Woke Up in the Scream Factory From Monsters, Inc.
Door #1 - Shut (and, as far as I know, locked and barred).
Door #2 - I'm reaching for the handle. We'll have to see.
The real question is, just how many doors are out there, and how many must I try?
(Similarly, how many frogs must I kiss in order to find my prince?)
(On a tangent, my birthday is Tuesday. I want a tiara.)
Door #2 - I'm reaching for the handle. We'll have to see.
The real question is, just how many doors are out there, and how many must I try?
(Similarly, how many frogs must I kiss in order to find my prince?)
(On a tangent, my birthday is Tuesday. I want a tiara.)
Enter Stage Right
Change is in the air.
Earlier this week, Mr. Barack Obama became Mr. President. During his campaign, he used the slogan, "The change we need." That mantra, now that he has taken office, is the more concrete, "Change has come to America."
Political overhaul aside, we are just 23 days into the year 2009. As with the start of all new years, an aura of possibility surrounds thoughts of the 342 days to come. I made my resolutions, and have subsequently broken them all -- or so I think. I don't quite remember them.
I believe that this year will be one of great change for me. I believe that things are going to happen -- in part, because I'm not content to remain static in my current existence. I'll tell you one thing for sure: I'm ready for it. Or, I want it, and while I'm never really ready for it, I'm willing to embrace the fun and heartache of it for its own sake.
For Christmas, Madre bought me the DVD, "Becoming Jane." I love Jane Austen, and so she knew I'd appreciate it. Admittedly, it took me a couple of viewings to warm up to the film, but I think it will be one of my favorites in the long run. What I love best, though, is the title. It attests to the fact that we are not born one person and die the same. Our lives, and the events they contain, shape us and create us in a constant, ever-evolving process. I stole the title of the movie, made a swift edit, and pasted it here.
This lovely little blog will be my pet over the coming months. When I remember to update it, it will chronicle the happenings in my life, the changes being made, and the changes happening in spite of myself.
Stay tuned. :)
Earlier this week, Mr. Barack Obama became Mr. President. During his campaign, he used the slogan, "The change we need." That mantra, now that he has taken office, is the more concrete, "Change has come to America."
Political overhaul aside, we are just 23 days into the year 2009. As with the start of all new years, an aura of possibility surrounds thoughts of the 342 days to come. I made my resolutions, and have subsequently broken them all -- or so I think. I don't quite remember them.
I believe that this year will be one of great change for me. I believe that things are going to happen -- in part, because I'm not content to remain static in my current existence. I'll tell you one thing for sure: I'm ready for it. Or, I want it, and while I'm never really ready for it, I'm willing to embrace the fun and heartache of it for its own sake.
For Christmas, Madre bought me the DVD, "Becoming Jane." I love Jane Austen, and so she knew I'd appreciate it. Admittedly, it took me a couple of viewings to warm up to the film, but I think it will be one of my favorites in the long run. What I love best, though, is the title. It attests to the fact that we are not born one person and die the same. Our lives, and the events they contain, shape us and create us in a constant, ever-evolving process. I stole the title of the movie, made a swift edit, and pasted it here.
This lovely little blog will be my pet over the coming months. When I remember to update it, it will chronicle the happenings in my life, the changes being made, and the changes happening in spite of myself.
Stay tuned. :)
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